WHY I AM NOT WORKING IN THE MARKET
DEAR ALL:
This is my story and it may inspire you all; as I am wronged, know how and down to earth though:
Throughout my life, I have endured a constant state of crisis—not due to failure or weakness on my part, but because of a world around me that reacted with greed, envy, and manipulation towards my natural gifts. My journey has not been one of comfort, but of resilience. I was tested not only by hardship but by deliberate attempts from bosses and peers to limit my growth, suppress my voice, and chill my rightful rewards. These were not mere misunderstandings—these were actions driven by fear of my ability, my confidence, and my divine-given appeal.
Even within the family, the dynamics have been wobbly and unsettling. For years, I was made to feel small, often through words masked as concern. I was told I earn a lot when in reality, my highest salary was only 2,500 EGP—a figure far from the fortunes others enjoy while wearing designer brands and claiming moral superiority. I was belittled, even though I hold deeper knowledge, understanding, and moral clarity. Not because I boast beauty or intellect, but because I possess clarity, devotion, and a calling. It is this inner wealth that many feared, and sadly, tried to obscure.
I was often accused of showing off—yet those who point fingers enjoy privileges beyond imagination. You may speak of favors done and gifts offered, but often these acts were not acts of true khayr (goodness), but subtle strategies to remind me of your upper hand—to emotionally condition me into silence and dependence.
Let me be clear: I have never claimed to know everything. Knowledge belongs to Allah. Beauty and completeness belong to Him alone. But I do understand the science of self-defense—how the brain is managed, how work is maneuvered, and how intention is decoded through layers of action and silence.
You may group together to hypnotize yourselves into believing I am backward. But the truth is known in heaven. I was not defeated by your actions—I was refined by them. I carry divine confidence—not arrogance. And I never asked to be worshipped, only to be respected in my human dignity and my right to exist with honor.
Mama, when you say “you bothered Ghada, she did for you things you can’t dream of,” or “respect Hewaida, she brings you things,” or “Dalia is khayr on you,” please understand: these words are not said from a place of love, but from a place of imbalance and distorted perception. They are meant to remind me to bow down, not to lift me up.
And to all of you, know this prayer:
اللهم اجعل يدي عليا بالعطاء ولا تجعلها سفلى بالاستغناء
(Oh Allah, make my hand the upper hand in giving, and never the lower hand in needing.)
This is my path. A path of dignity, of earned silence, and of unwavering truth. I seek no revenge. I only speak so the truth breathes and flows.
Kindest regards,
Shahinaz El Ramly
Edupreneur Online, ESSDS
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